That Four Letter Word...

             A wise man told me recently that “love is not a feeling, but a decision” And it resonated with me and was one of the few things I took away from our conversation. Usually when people discuss love it’s in how it makes you feel and the emotions that come with it. But if that is our definition of love we have only experienced a watered down version of what love really is.  Feelings are fleeting, one day we can be happy and enjoying life and the next day discouraged and feeling sorry for ourselves. It’s ever changing so why would we place love in that category?  Are we ultimately saying that love is fleeting?

            If you are like me I pondered this thought for a while and eventually began thinking deeper than the statement. What if we changed our views to look at love as a decision? See a decision isn’t as changeable as feelings. Decisions usually comes after long considerations and is the final conclusion to the process. So after a decision is made it is very unlikely that you change because this is your choice. Even some of the words associated with decisions is firmness and determination. So if we looked as love in this light how would this change the way we view those we love and may choose to love? Would we give out love as easy or would we be more cautious? Would it improve the relationships we have with others that we claim to love? And more importantly how would you view the love that you have for your own self?

If we were to be honest with ourselves most of us would struggle with loving this way because we are all guilty of loving through our fleeting feelings. We love others by how they treat us and when they make us feel good but the moment it changes we find it hard to still be loving towards those same people we call our loved ones. And we haven’t had the best practice in loving because a lot of us still struggle with loving ourselves. For me I know I can be my worst critic, so in all that criticizing where exactly am I fitting in love? Or I am just as guilty of viewing love as a feeling only reserved for when I like the way I look and everything is fitting just right or when I’m feeling happy and I’m excelling in life.

            Love was never meant to be considered as fleeting because God is love, and if we know God, we know he stays the same and his love NEVER changes. This type of love we should be striving daily to display to others and most importantly to ourselves. Self-love is most important because if it isn’t in you it won’t come out of you. So if you are like me and want to become better at loving yourself so that you can in return love others the same I direct you to a very common passage in the bible. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 ^“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”

            Usually when we think of this verse we are quoting the words to someone we love but we can also quote this same scripture to our own self. So in those times you feel not good enough counter it with “love is patient, love is kind”. Are you being patient and kind with yourself? “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth….” Are your opinions of yourself truths that you want to rejoice in? If not maybe those opinions aren’t factual at all and need to be replaced with confident truths. Let’s not continued viewing love as a circumstance based or performance based feeling and begin loving ourselves the way God has been showing us how to all along.

 

Your crown is waiting

 

Krowning Glory