Pick A Side!

We are a few days away from a New Year. Meaning bring on all the post about leaving all bad things behind and only taking what's good into the new year. Us as people I guess need that extra push to propel ourselves forward not realizing that with every morning we wake we have a fresh start at that exact moment. To be honest we don't even need a new morning, we have the power to change our surroundings and control our views and responses to things as they happen. But most times we refuse to acknowledge this power we have thinking it will require some dramatic event to solidify the changes we want to make.

So let's look over our past year while we are on the subject. Do you feel as if this last year everything that could have went wrong did? Were you tested beyond what you thought you could bear? How did you handle the downfalls? How did you overcome and when did you realized that you would recover? 

If you noticed nowhere in those questions did I ask if you have overcome your obstacle. I didn't because the question is irrelevant. One fact remains the same in every obstacle we face or have faced you will/did overcome. So if we already know the outcome to every trial we face why do we find ourselves with the spirit of defeat in the midst of our trials?

This realization hit me the hardest this week and that was when I had to make  the choice to change my mindset with facing downfalls. I have been guilty of feeling as if my whole world was upside down over minor trials such as money problems to dealing with the obstacle of never feeling good enough for any man.  I would sulk and cry for much longer than what was needed and then it would happened.... I got over it! 

Listen.... LIFE ISNT FAIR! And nobody is exempt from failures or insecurities. But if we only would realize that our failures are meant for our good as well. The very thing you are struggling with and crying about having to endure is what you are meant to overcome to build your character. The moment we embrace this we can then began to figure out the purpose behind our downfalls and grow from them. 

So the charge I make to myself and others that feel moved by this post. Pick your side. You can either be victorious or a victim. Can't be both. Victims mope and cry about all unfairness they are dealt. They can't move forward cause they are still stuck on how this "tragic" situation has deeply affected them. They usually are searching for sympathy and for everyone to know their feelings behind the wrong that was done to them. They allow the situation to have all the power and control instead of them controlling the situation by changing their view on it. Victims majority of the time are negative and are always in need of "assistance" or a "hero" Hence the name victim. Victorious people always see the silver lining, they accept all failures and obstacles and understand that they will come. This doesn't mean they don't feel sad, they just refuse to stay that way. They don't allow unwanted circumstances to control their world but instead they overcome the circumstances and allow the trials to make them a better person and not a bitter one.

As you can see both sides deal with trials only thing that is different is their view and attitude towards the trials. Which group are you? Any of these characteristics sounding familiar? Is your mindset working for you? If it is working and you know you are overcoming I encourage you keep at it! If it has not worked for you and you find yourself still struggling with something that you know you should have gotten over by now. I encourage you to reevaluate your views and begin to change them. Year 2015 isn't needed to begin this change but if you need that extra push you have a few days to figure it out before the ball drops. Let's not go another minute another hour another day or another year with these toxic mindsets. Your crown is waiting.... 

With Love 

Janitha 

Where's your Crown?

But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. (I Corinthians 11:15 NKJV)

Now you know this struck a nerve  right? What about being created in your image God? What about being fearfully and wonderfully made? How can you explain this verse? The questions that come to mind when you still find yourself struggling with believing your worth. 

And there in that verse I was given the foundation of my blog. But Krowning Glory goes further than just hair. It took my now young adult pastor to help me realize that we are made in the image of our creator and that is where our glory lies. Meaning no matter the color, weight, height or length of hair on your head God made no mistake! And I believe we will experience our true crowning moment when we began to fully accept our God made image, imperfections and all. 

So that's the story behind the name and that is my focal point. Not that I think I am a pro at self love. I just want to shed light on the deeper core values of women. I have realize that many of us struggle with self acceptance. And what do we have to encourage us to love ourselves? A media crazed world that idolize a particular type of beauty. Which leaves everyone else struggling trying to fit the mode. 

Krowning Glory is breaking that mold. I won't just preach to you and say over and over you're beautiful and hope you start to believe it. I believe showing you is better and walking with you lets you know you aren't alone in finding your glory. I want to create an atmosphere of true acceptance and realness so we all can continue reaching for our crown! 

~KG~

Beauty For Ashes (True Courage)

 

Courage

- The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes (changes) with self possession, confidence and resolution; bravery.

 

 

Since I can remember this word was always being used when speaking to me. Complete strangers would come up to me and encourage me with kind words on how brave I was and that they admired my courage for choosing to be bald. I would graciously take their encouragement and over the years I've grown accustomed to being approached. But through all the words and personal stories told I would walk away every time not fully convinced in what they saw in me. 

At the age of 2 from the story that was share with me, my older cousin was combing my hair to only be horrified by my screams of bloody murder when she comb a chunk of it out of my head. And that began my journey, my parents watch as their baby girl's hair went from a full curly afro to patches to then complete baldness. This was in the early 90's so initially my mom was looked at to have done something wrong to my hair to cause the loss. After doctor visits it was confirmed that I actual had a condition called Alopecia. In Tulsa, OK it wasn't that common nor was there many people with it so there wasn't much help or knowledge offered to my parents or a support group for me . All that was suggested was either treatments or wigs and hopefully my hair would return one day.

So we attempted wigs which lasted about as long as the spelling of wigs. I was 4 or 5 at this time and it was becoming more noticeable to my peers that I wasn't the same as them. And it was actually worse to show up one day with no hair and the next draping with a full head of it. Kids are curious and they are not fools so this raised questions and brought more stares than being bald. And to top it all off I  was uncomfortable, hot, and itchy. It was too much to bare. The last day I wore a wig I, as a 4 year old  stubbornly made the decision purely for comfort.

You see, I was too young to fully understand that my one selfish moment would set the foundation of who I am today. From that decision I spent my childhood being scrutinized and made a victim. I didn't step back into my elementary school until I was 25 because of all the memories it holds. Its hard to defend yourself when you have no idea fully why you are like this. So all you can do is hope that one day someone will accept you. That they will see you as normal and not having hair wouldnt matter. And eventually over time it did come.

As I continue growing I became more accepted. I was making friends and actually felt comfortable enough where I could let my personality shine. Over time I realize the more I played it cool and acted normal those around me wouldn't realize or it didn't matter to them. Yes jokes were still made from time to time but I learned to not be phased and eventually I was left in peace. I thrived from this so much that over years I began downplaying my Alopecia. I developed an nonchalant attitude and would be very vague with discussing my story or any details. In my mind I thought if I kept everyone focused on my other qualities and remain lighthearted about my baldness you would disregard the big picture.  As I write this now I'm anxious with what I am openly displaying to everyone. I realize that completer strangers will read this at the same time some of my own friends will just be hearing my story truthfully for the first time.

So admitting my fears now how was what I was doing prior courage? I was walking around showing strength with my head high but never vocal about the days when my head was bowed because I was ashamed of my weakness. I didn't want to face those earlier days so I had to sacrifice my truth to continue with my imitation of courage. I wanted acceptance of the person I thought I truly was but was secretly still hoping to be. I didn't realize until I accepted my full truth the courage I wanted to receive and fully let shine would never come. And the voice that I wanted to use to encourage people would remain stifled. So It begins! My new journey to true courage and acceptance in hopes that I inspire those I encounter to begin theirs. Then we all will learn to exchange our ashes with faith we will gain beauty in return. Isaiah 61:3